Cheating Wife? 3 Thoughts To Always Keep In Mind

Over the past 5+ years through my free newsletter, ebooks, and other online products I’ve been fortunate enough to help thousands of men deal with a cheating wife and heal from the emotional fallout.

One of the most important things any man who finds himself in this situation can do – is to get a handle on his THOUGHTS.

Because let’s face it – when we find out our woman is cheating our thoughts get a little warped. Even crazy.

We need to replace these dark “irrational” thoughts with more accurate thinking. When we do, we’ll start to feel just a tad bit better. And every little bit counts when we’re in the middle of the emotional hell a cheating wife can trigger.

Here are the 3 thoughts I want you to always keep in mind (you can watch the video below – I apologize for the sound quality – or just read the text under the video):

1) No, You’re Not Going Crazy

Everybody feels like their going at least a little crazy when their wife cheats on them.

It’s okay. It’s natural. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you (unless you’re making plans to hurt yourself or someone else – in that case see a therapist right away).

There’s a difference between thinking crazy thoughts and actually GOING crazy. What most people experience after infidelity is a temporary form of crazy. Remind yourself it’s just a period you’ll get through. And don’t do anything stupid.

2) It’s Not Your Fault

It’s easy to do Monday morning quarterbacking and find little – or big – things you could have done to prevent the affair.

But this kind of thinking will just drive you more cray cray.

The affair is your wife’s fault, plain and simple.

Sure, you weren’t a perfect husband. But no man is. It doesn’t justify your wife to go out and have an affair. Some women will try to put the responsibility on you. Stand your ground.

3) You’re Not Alone

Perhaps the most depressing thing about infidelity is the loneliness we feel. Not only can we no longer count on our wife – it seems no one else in the world can relate to the pain we’re going through.

But this isn’t really true.

It’s difficult to put an exact number on the frequency of infidelity, but it looks like somewhere in the neighborhood of 50+% of marriages suffer from infidelity at one point or another.

That means a TON of people have gone through, are doing through or WILL go through what you’re experiencing right now.

You’re anything but alone.

It’s one thing to know this – but it’s another to feel it.

One way to feel it is to grab my free report on this page. When you do, you’ll get a free subscription to my online newsletter where I answer emails from men just like you looking for advice on how to deal with their cheating wife.

As you read their stories you’ll begin to get a feeling deep down in your bones that you AREN’T alone (and, btw, that you’re not going crazy and it’s not your fault).

So grab my free report right now. Just click the red button below.

(And hey – if you liked this article please comment below. It helps me get the word out. Thanks).

Talk soon,

Kevin Jackson

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11 Responses to Cheating Wife? 3 Thoughts To Always Keep In Mind

  1. T. Wilton says:

    hi Kevin
    I’m T.Wilton from South Africa, in my second year in PhD, I met my girl in 2012 Feb. an since we’ve been dating. she moved in with me at my apartment since may 2012, to save the renting cost, till last year when she got a job in another province. I’m still a student by a scholarship, but earning something monthly . she got a Job and relocated to 1200km away from my varsity province. before she could be called for the interview we had and argument on my duties relating to my PhD work, I had to be on the field for about a week, that made our sex drive suffer. she then got it not an affair with one of my peers from the same scholarship and slept with him. she visited her ex to sleep with him, and after getting the job she slept with her collegue three times. all these I was told after I dreamt and prayed for her to be a faithfull to me. she confessd them to me ater she dreamt me praying for our marriage. I didt not see or realise anything. it was jan 2016 when I was told all these. since I then don’t trust her, I become angry sometimes, I spent a week not talking to her but she ended up threatening to commit suecide if I broke up with her. I took her back because I feel pity for her mom who trust me, my family knows her. I love her but I still feel furious when I think about it and behave upnormal. i’ve never cheated on her. recently I got I the fight for I was furious due to one of her home girl is doing the same thing to her man. how can you help me get over this? i’ve never had two girls at the same times, I believe in faitufullness.

  2. Kevin says:

    Thank you Kevin,I really thought I was going crazy when my wife had an affair and I questioned myself over and over again.We are divorced now and took me years to finally come to terms with the fact that it was all her fault.I live alone and so does she,the difference being I’m happy with myself but she is sad and lonely.I have the love and respect of all my children and that’s all that matters to me.Thank you for all your help Kevin,you have helped me so much.

  3. Dale krawczyk says:

    I don’t know that it’s what’s unknown about the affair that drives me crazy as much as the feeling that I have no control over anything. With the divorce in process, with maybe a 10-20 percent chance of reconciliation, there is no way to now what the final divorce will be like. With an 11 year old daughter I’ve had to take a different position at work to be more accommodating to my daughter resulting in a 40 percent pay cut. The decisions I’ve had to make are not ones that I wanted to but ones I more or less was forced too, including filing for divorce. Oh the days when I can make decisions I want to.

  4. Dave says:

    Kevin, thanks for being there for guys like me. It’s been almost 4 months since my wife dropped the bomb on me and confirmed what I had suspected for months. In the beginning she tried to blame me, but as we try to work through what happened, it became clear to her that it was her own issues that caused her to have an affair. Eventhough I suspected for months, when she told me what happened, it devestated me. Knowing that there are other guys out there in my situation, and reading your blog and e book, has given me hope that somehow we can make it through this nightmare. There are days when I’m not sure we’ll stay together, times when I’m not sure that I can forgive her, or that I even should, but I know that those feelings are part of the ups and downs of the whole healing process. It’s sites like yours that help me to feel that there’s light at the end of the tunnel, and for that I thank you.

  5. Michael E Bradley says:

    Kevin,

    I got your Ebook, just a week or so after my wife cheated on me. On the many sleepless nights I’ve had, I would listen to the audio book. It DID help. Lots of emotion from all of this. I enjoy the emails I get from you. They inspire me to keep going. It’s nice to be able to see a recent video of you speaking like a normal human being. She cheated on me the night before Valentine’s Day, 2016. About 6 months ago. 17.5 years of marriage down the drain. 3 kids. We still have not finalized the divorce yet. She is very vindictive, and I have found a clinical term that describes her. You may have heard of it. DARVO. Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. She has turned this all around on me to make me feel like a P.O.S., and to put the blame on me. I still deal with a lot of pain, anxiety, depression, jealousy, and all the other emotions. I just want our divorce over with and to be able to manage our 3 kids better, without the anxiety of still being cheated on. She had a 3some with her BFF from High School, and her BFF’s husband. She told me about it the day after Valentine’s Day. Less than a month later she was in another relationship, and still is, with another man. Not even divorced yet. Anyway, my story is long and painful. Thank you, Sir!

    • Kevin J. says:

      Hey Michael,

      I’m no psychologist, and I don’t play one on the internet. That being said, my theory is if a woman cheats and then consistently blames you for the affair, the likelihood of her having a diagnosable personality disorder goes up big time. No, this doesn’t mean “if she’ll only get help, she’ll get better.” What it does mean is to stop holding on to hope that she’ll change her ways and get reasonable. Most likely she won’t. It also means when she turns things around on you, remember it has NOTHING to do with you. It’s about her and her condition. So don’t take it personally. Any person – man or woman – who cheats and then blames their partner over and over for making them cheat, is being abuse. Don’t take to heart what these kind of people say – it’s all toxic, engineered to make you feel like shit. Stay away from it as much as you can. Focus on the kids. And know deep down in your heart her affair was about HER, not you. You deserve better. And eventually you’ll get better. Be patient. Begin to accept what’s happened. Your life will be much better down the road. – Kevin J.

  6. Ryan Smith says:

    Thank you for your emails, blogs, forums, videos, etc… they have been helpfull this past year.

    I’ve been with my wife my entire adult life and have never loved anyone else. I couldn’t and wouldn’t have done what she did, and I never dreamed in a million years could or would either. We were supposed to spend our lives together as one? I trusted her more than I trusted myself, I believed the dumbest lies, and ignored the most obvious signs. When I look back now I feel so dumb I don’t think I can ever trust her again?

    At first knowing I wasn’t alone made me feel better, now I just feel bad for anyone that’s ever had to feel this pain. I pray for the day we all find peace. Bless you

    P.S. After finding out about my wife’s affair I didn’t get much sleep. For weeks, up starting at the ceiling, reliving the past 10 years, trying to remember every little detail and wondering how much of it was real. I fell asleep coming home from work, I’ve been at home recovering ever since and money is tight. I don’t want pity, but some free stuff would nice. Thank you.
    Ryan

  7. Hugo says:

    Hi Kevin! Your book is absolutely fantastic! I went completely crazy went I found out that my 11 years wife was having an affair after for the past two years. I felt much much better after reading your book. It’s been 5 months I know about it and I have now started to live again! Ufortunately there is an other problem. My wife is pregnant with the other man and want me to stay with her and adopt the child and she will never see the other man again. Is it something a man can do? It would be great if you feel like elaborating on the topic in your weekly e-mail. Once again, thank you very much for having written this fantastic book and I 100% beleive that no men in my situation would never ask for a refund after reading it. Cheers!

  8. Kevin says:

    Hi Kevin,

    I bought your ebook about 30 days after I found my wife was having an affair. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for that 30 days and I had been to the internet a number of times searching to something to help me, I stumbled across your site with your ebook a couple of times, I was never one to buy these sorts of ebooks online as I never thought they were legit. Out of desperation I look a leap of faith after reading a few posts on other sites of people saying your book really helps. I bought the book at about midnight and read it all by 6am and essentially formulated my plan on what I was going to do to bring back control of this affair that I didn’t ask for. I walked out of the spare bedroom where I had been sleeping to meet my wife in the hallway who just got out of bed from our master bedroom and had a feeling of confidence and felt energised and awoken even though I hadn’t slept. My wife even looked at me strange and made a comment about I looked happy. I said with confidence I wanted to talk and I told her what I expected. It got things back on track very quickly. Even though my wife kept trickle feeding truth to me for another 30 days after that, it was your book that took my wife from her absolute lows of lying and cheating and brought her back up to being someone that resembled the wife I remember. I can confidently say she has see the error of her ways, I have seen the error of my ways (I was a super pleaser) and she has shown and wants to be a changed person for the better of us and has said many times she wants to give back everything I gave to our relationship in which she took for granted.

    Unfortunately, with her persistent lies for that 3 months, 2 of which was post me finding out, I am on the fence on our relationship. I have communicated this to my wife, that I don’t trust her, that it worries me that she is capable of such terrible things in such a short amount of time, but I do love her, I love the “good her” which I do remember even though a lot of my 17 year marriage history was rewritten with negative thoughts. Yes I thought we were happy for 17 years but she told me to my face she was unhappy for all of that time and that is why she did what she did (she also later retracted this after getting her head on straight). She doesn’t blame me for her actions anymore, at times though, she drops lines that suggests she still thinks she “had her reasons” for doing what she did but now she is a different person. I get stuck with that and remind her I will not accept any blaming whatsoever for her actions, but we could talk about the things that made her unhappy and work on those, but they aren’t reasons for her choices.

    Anyways, I am hopeful positive for the future. Whilst I am on the fence, I do want our marriage on the condition she change as a person, and so far with the help of your book, she has demonstrated real change and commitment to our marriage (I told her about your book and she read it also). I have told her when I feel her change is as a person and she is naturally thinking and doing the right thing instead of thinking one thing and having to say to herself, “no that’s no right” and acting as a person who wants to do the right thing then we have hope. I have forgiven myself for my feelings and decided I will give myself the time to make a decision and while that happens, I will do everything I can to ensure we have a positive experience together and I expect that from her in return, I described it to her as giving 100% without expectation and what we give we get back from the other person, so whilst the ball is in my side of the court in a way, I am always hitting it over to her to see if she wants to play our marriage game and by the rules. I am hoping one day I don’t feel on the fence and I am just feeling like we are married again. I know our marriage will never go back to the way it was, and quite frankly I don’t want it to, your ebook opened my eyes on how one sided our marriage was for a very long time in which I gave and gave and never got anything back, but I am hoping for a new balanced marriage for the future, but I know as well, if she decides she cant be the person I expect her to be, then I have no problem in being confident saying to myself that I don’t want this and move on. It wont be easy, but I know I can do it.

    Thanks again for your ebook, its helped me greatly, its given me a hope for the future that things can turn around for the better, and deep down I really hope she can do what it takes for me to say “the better is together”.

    She has expressed interest in “Help Him Get Over Your Affair eBook” and suggested I make a post on this blog to try and win a copy. She is being very considerate in terms of our finances lately, she was never like this before and it got compounded by the fact the person she had an affair with was a co-worker of hers and I forever felt like I was competing with this person every day. It was like she had a home husband and a work husband and she would flip flop every day, leave home in the morning happy with me, and then coming home distant like she would reconnect with the OM while there and my repeated stance on even though you work with this person, your relationship there could be work related only, it got to the point where I said you either leave your job or this will never work, and she agreed. So she is not bringing in money at the moment and actually gives a damn about the money instead of just spending with a thought of complete entitlement. We are in the process of moving to a new city in the near future, something that needs to happen for me to heal and any decision I make will be made after that and she gets my full support until then.

    Heres hoping I am not too late for your prize draw and if I am, I will in the future look to purchase after she has a read the book she currently has from the marriage psychologist we are seeing.

    Thanks again
    Kevin

  9. Jim Broadbent says:

    Hi Kevin- I really appreciate your book, it has helped me more than anything I’ve read, I found out my wife had three different affairs after 25 years of marriage, and that she was planning on leaving after our kids finished high school in a few years. I was so angry at all the lying and deceitfulness and dirtbag moves, that I thought I was going to go crazy, But I wanted to try to make it work for the sake of the kids, and because things happen for a reason and I didn’t want it all to be for nothing. Throwing it all away seemed even worse than the betrayals. So I stayed.
    We then ended up in counseling with a female counselor who went out of her way every week to tell me that all of this was really my fault. After hearing that drum beat for about 6 months, I said no more, I’m not going to listen to that crap anymore.
    Then I found you. You were the only one I found who wrote from the man’s perspective, and for the man’s perspective. I love how you talked about that we are both responsible for our side of the street, and that cheating on the marriage is never the right choice. She could have made different choices than cheating: like working on the marriage, going to counseling, or divorcing. She didn’t have to cheat. Anyway, you gave me the courage to finally say no to that nonsense, and we found a better counselor who is way more balanced and helpful.
    I am actually starting to think that we are turning a corner after almost 3 years since this came out. But I don’t think it would have been possible for us to reconcile if I hadn’t read- and reread- your book. Thank you for taking something so bad, and making something good out of it. You didn’t waste your pain, and we get to benefit because you decided to help us through what you went through. I can’t even express how much your book helped me to cut through the crap of muddled thinking to be able to navigate through the storm. I really appreciate you standing in the gap for us guys. We needed somebody who speaks for us and who understands what we’re going through because he’s. been there.

  10. Joseph Marfo says:

    Hi Kevin Jackson.

    My name is Joseph (I can’t read properly). I have deem dating this girl for 8years now. We have 3 lil kids. Man I can’t even say what I need to say do you have a 1800number I can call pls I just don’t know what to do pls help

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