Healing and Dealing With Your Wife’s Infidelity

Healing and Dealing With Your Wife’s Infidelity…

For most men, surviving our wife’s infidelity will be one of the biggest challenges of our lives.

We all enter marriages – myself included – with the expectation that we’

ll never have to cope with our wife being unfaithful.

If you’re like me, I never thought in a MILLION YEARS I’d ever go through the gut-wrenching hell that infidelity is.

And this is part of the reason why recovering from infidelity is so damn hard for us guys.

Let me explain…

Imagine a world where before people get married, they walk into an office and sit down with a wise old man.

And that man says,

“I understand you two are in love, you want to spend the rest of your lives together, and have kids, is that right?”

And the two of you look each other in the eyes, smile, and say “That’s absolutely right.”

Then the wise old man gets out a big book – I mean DICTIONARY big – and asks, “Do you know what this is?”

You say “Nope, sure don’t.”

He says, “This is a list of all the people who ever entered marriage with high hopes, in love, just like you two… and no real concern about infidelity…”

Then he goes on, “… but for everyone one of these marraige, at least of the partners were unfaithful.”

“Wow,” your soon to be wife says, “that’s a lot of people!”

The wise old man says, “Yep. Here, ” and he reaches down behind his desk, “here’s another interesting book. You know what this is?”

This book looked like the first, but was much, much smaller.

The two of you shake your heads.

“This book contains all the names of people who got married with hopes, like you two… but DIDN’T have to deal with infidelity.”

“Why is it so much smaller?” the two of you ask the wise old man.

“Because many more people cheat in marriages than are faithful. And that’s a fact the two of you need to accept and develop a plan for avoiding, if you want to get married with open eyes and avoid the pain of infidelity. That’s why!”

Now, the shocking thing I’ve discovered in my research… is that an OVERWHELMING majority of marriages have a partner who cheats at one time or another.

And I don’t mean like 51%. (Even if I think 51% would be a HUGE number in this case).

I mean… like around 80%.

That’s right.

In about 80% of marriages, at least 1 partner is unfaithful at one time or another.

I’m not saying this is a conspiracy or anything… but it sure is awfully strange why no one talks about this.

And certainly when most people get married, it’s not part of our thinking.

That’s part of why healing and dealing with your wife’s infidelity is so damn hard for us guys.

It’s a sucker punch.

We weren’t expecting it. We thought it’d never happen to us. So we were relaxed, doing our own thing… and then… WHAM… out of nowhere… we get hit with the knockout blow of our entire lies.

We didn’t prepare for it, and we couldn’t stop it… but we can be proactive NOW.

If your wife cheated on you, there are typical things guys do that make the situation WORSE.

And I want to help you avoid these mistakes.

So I put together a free report you can download right now. It’s called “The 7 Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Wives Cheat.”

Enter your email below and I’ll send it to your right away. I’ll even follow up and send you free tips on how to know the affair is over, get control over your emotions, figure out if you should stay or go, and get clear on why the affair happened in the first place.

Go get your free report right now.

Talk soon. Things can get better. – Kevin Jackson

“I read your 7 mistakes. I just wanted to thank you for putting that on the internet. I feel better and I know I have a roller coaster ride though hell. I know I will be stronger once I pass hell and turn into a stronger person. Thank you again. You are a good man to help people after what you went through. Maybe one day I can help people like you have helped me.” – Bill, Australia

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18 Responses to Healing and Dealing With Your Wife’s Infidelity

  1. tsanko says:

    Wonderful ..thanks a lot for posting a good informitive blog

  2. karen says:

    how does my husband get past the bad dreams of the affair , he is so upset because of the color of this man. so i don’t know how to help him i don’t want to loss him so what do i do . he keeps dewelling on the past. so what now.

    • admin says:

      Hey Karen,
      One of the things you can do is give him time to grieve. He has a process of healing he needs to go through now, and it will take time. If you want to save the marriage – which you say you do – then answer any questions he has of you truthfully, take responsibility for the affair, admit it was wrong, and ask his forgiveness. He may not give it to you right away, and you need to accept that. Do things for him that communicate you respect and appreciate him as a man. Counseling is also an option. Telling him about this site is an option too. Good luck.

  3. Todd Hernick says:

    Hope this helps with healing

  4. Allen says:

    Wife had a quick 1 week emotional affair that led to 1 act of sex

    • Dan says:

      Same thing happened here in September 2014. Still going through rough times with “emotional affair and 1 time sex” thoughts that I have. I have forgiven her and we seem to be closer, but there are still times that I do not want her near me because the hurt comes back to mind every once in a while. It is true that the physical and emotional intimicay was there with him once. 6 months later our youngest son committed suicide in a very violent way. This has brought my wife and I closer and all of the time we are apart is accounted for. I don’t mistrust her but I have to get past the “thoughts” that come in at times and they really suck. Praying is the only way I am getting through this. If I don’t forgive, I am putting myself above God as He always forgives when we ask. Hard to forgive but we must either work it out together or go our separate ways. Much easier to work it out after a time of grief and anger has passed. Give it time and pray about it together. Hang in there.

  5. james somers says:

    wife had a 20 month long affair

  6. David Cunningham says:

    I need as much help as I can get to help me

  7. ej says:

    says she cheated once. she lied for seven years even on the Bible that she did nothing with this skank(though I always suspected). recently started going back to church and said out of the blue one day that God wants her to tell me something. how do I know this as truth and not just 1/2 truth. conveniently his penis was “so small” and he went in less than 2 min. leaving her unsatisfied. wth

  8. Hillary Young says:

    I admit I never got over my husband’s affair 6 years ago, and now I have had one; yet I cannot get him to see past the sexual aspect of my affair. He claims that I have never had the passion for him that I had for this other man; and that he can’t produce that passion in me now. It has been a little over 2 months since my affair. A lot of hurt has been done the last 6 years and especially the last 2 months. Will he ever get past feeling like I don’t want him?

  9. bebe says:

    My wife of 16years started cheating on me . I discovered she has an affair with a guy in her work. The guy call her at old time especially when am away. They could speak for minutes ranging from 20-30munutes. Sometimes it coyld last 40 or 50minutes. When i confronted my wife she lied norhing between the. I often travel for 3-5month outside the states for work. She took advantage of that to cheat. Now i travel, i discover they stil call and meet regularly. Ii have proof of frequent long calls but not proof of where and how they meet. I am pained am loosing a marriage of 16yrs. I love my kids but i cant withstand this cheating anymore. I want to cut of the relationship. I am thinking of filing for divorce.

    Please advise me

  10. Daniel says:

    I hope this helps me through

  11. Hank says:

    I look forward to reading these. I need a lot of help with this process.

  12. Dan says:

    Desperately seeking solice…..thank you.

  13. Lance says:

    My partner who I love dearly opened up to me at the weekend that she had gotten very drunk at a work event and had accepted a proposition from a stranger for a one night stand… I was devastated. Our relationship was (I thought) unbreakable. She took full responsibility and did not push any of the blame my way.

    My instant reaction was to suggest that maybe I should just do exactly the same thing and let her know when in order that she could feel that sense of grief. She asked me not too and we had two very uncomfortable days. But I was having that imagery of them together, the sex part did not hurt as much as the thought of them kissing and hugging and being intimate and that was the thing that I knew was going to kill us if anything was. So I decided to do some reading on sites such as this and I was able to learn enough to allow me to move forwards. I wanted reasons to stay, not to go.

    I love her and I don’t want to lose her, so I ask her, do you still love me or is this a sign that you want to exit the relationship? She told me categorically that she loved me. I then asked her what she could have done to have avoided the situation happening? She said not getting silly drunk would help. I told her that this was a pitfall in her job and that there would be other moments when she could be silly drunk. She agreed and said she had seen the immense pain I was in and that was making her sadder than she had ever been and that image alone would never leave her, therefore maybe that would become her defence.

    So I want to stay in the relationship, therefore I need to look forward not back. The situation occurred and I can’t undo it, but I can agree with her what things we can do collectively to make our relationship less likely to suffer again. It’s going to be hard and it’ll take time, but I actually think that this was the sort of wake up call that I needed to remind me never to get complacent in my relationship.

  14. James says:

    Good information.

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